In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Philippians 2:5 NIV
Today I sent a message to a dear friend……..
Last night as we video chatted she told me her fiance was going to apply for a Visa lottery, however the previous years lottery winners never got their interviews and now the time is expiring and they will not be able to come to America. She stated that these people were banding together to sue the Goverment for this.
I just saw red and immediately, with out thinking, I spoke. Saying how I feel people are too sue happy. This lead to a heated discussion. I kept going on and on about how this process is not a given, not a law and those people should not sue. I even threw in that the Bible says we should not settle disagreements this way. It was a horrible argument between us. And Not once did I show any compassion!
She called me out! ” don’t you care or see how this makes those people feel?” She says. ” yes of course I feel bad for them” I replied. ” well don’t you think you should have lead with that?!!!” And as she said that her face was all up in the screen giving me her best…’ girl you know I’m right face ‘ ……..I was deflated….just like that!!
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Proverbs 4:23-24 NIV
It was late ( I was in Cyprus so we have a seven hour time difference).
I woke the next morning and as I was praying and watching the morning devotional scripture, I just knew I needed to message her.
“Good Morning!
I want to tell you THANK you for giving me correction.
I should have lead off with compassion and sympathy for those people, because I do feel it. It was an eye opener to me that I was so quick to anger and to voice that anger immediately without thinking.
I love having you in my life! Thanks for being with me always!”
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
James 1:19 NIV
That lead me to think about our over all relationship. We have know oneanother for eleven years! She is the ONLY person in my life that knew me then and knows me now! That incident helped me to another area if my life that I have been struggling with, relationships.
I struggle to see relationships as long term. I have definitely never had one, weather friend, parental or spousel.
Through that short, but highly charged conversation, God had lead me to reflect on an area of my life that I felt insecure about. He showed me that people can grow together, they can have differences of opinion, argue and comeback stronger! He showed me that I can and do have people in my life that are here to stay and that can continue to happen throughout my life!
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.
Colossians 3:12-16 NIV
As I sat and waited for her final message, I thought about many teachings all of which eluded…..For this to continue to happen, to build relationships, grow closer. Our very foundation has to be God!
Then she replied……
“Haha all we need is love. I find it easy to see the good in all people and have faith that most people are good. People who join the lottery are looking for a better life to live in America for their families. Despite our issues in America they beleive in our country and are taking a chance for a better future. That’s how a lot of people from the middle east and Africa get here. For some it’s their only hope. Imagine how devastated I would feel if Mounir won the lottery yet the govt neglected to do his interview and the visa entrance expired. You would feel for me. Besides the point you were hell fire on wheels but I know you and I know you can be opinionated about things so it wasn’t that bad. I got over it. I briefly thought about hanging up but that would be dumb so I guess that’s when I blurted out to lead with compassion. It’s all good. No ill feelings here. Goodnight and thank you for being a friend”
So even though we struggled , for a moment, to communicate effectively and thoughtfully ( well, me!) , we managed to get through it together…..This was a beutiful example of two people communicating, being vulnerable, open and receptive and most of all loving. It was through love that she had steered me back to see that I had skipped compassion and jumped straight to anger. But since we have built this trusted relationship she knew my heart and I just needed a little reminder!
I love how God works!!!
Colleen Moore
Works Inspired in Faith
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