Prayer to Father God…
1 John 1:2-4 NIV
Consider it our joy my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds , because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Dear God,
I just don’t understand this position I am in. I thank you for the spirit you have put in me. I thank you for love, feeling it from you, and that I can give it to others. But I feel so needy. Why? Why must I be so needy? I know that I have become closer to you because of this situation I am in. I thank you for giving me a way to get closer. But, how do I support not only myself but have enough to help others?
A couple of times I have been approached by people in need, and I had nothing to give. A prayer…but that’s it? That left me feeling awful because I could not help…I had no money to help them. I hate this world!! That we have to have such a disgusting vile thing as money! It is evil and it sucks! How do I get out of this?
It is a vicious cycle spun over and over that makes me cry! Makes me sad and angry!!
I don’t fear or worry for me, you keep finding ways to provide what I need….but how do I help others get what they need? AND…I hate that my needs are met sometimes because of others helping…it feels pathetic to have to accept money from others.. I know ( I am sounding hypocritical) I am willing and do give what I can without judgements on them….but to have to recieve?..God this distresses me.. when will this end?
Inbetween as I run out of provisions this is the spot that evil keeps wanting to take hold, to cause me distress. These are the times that I get frustrated because I cannot help others. I keep writing….is that in itself enough? Serioisly…words on a screen? How is that helping people who are hungry and can’t feed themselves, can’t cloth themselves or put shelter over their heads? How is merly listening when you say ” go back and ask that girl if she is alright”. How is doing THAT helping the bigger picture?
I am not questioning what you are asking me to do….I am concerned that it is not working, not enough. That it is not helping anyone! This doesn’t mean I will stop what I am doing, I hear you! I will continue to put words down.
I trust you, I do…you have showed me your love and support. Your spirit is what guides me each day…but God…I am still human and that hurts!
1 John 5:4
for everyone born of God overcomes the world…
Help me overcome!
In Jesus name I pray to you Father God…..
Please help! Please show me ….~~Amen~~
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