Photo by Colleen Moore
Dear Friends,
2/1/20
Jesus replied, ” you do not now realize what I am doing, but later you will understand. ” John 13:7
I keep these words close to my heart, I have always believed there was a reason for everything and although life can be overwhelming and stressfull, those words give me comfort, knowing that I will come to understand why I am in a situation that’s uncomfortable…..
I bit down on my lip, biting back tears and frustrations. My heart aches at all the negativity. It’s been over a week since I have been really noticing it. It takes me so long to come out of my shell around new people that I must over look things, things like hurtful words. I felt that ache in my heart first for the mother as her sons, what I think they think is playful, constantly delve out little bashes. This to a woman that has birthed them, feeds them 3 times a day, cleans after them. Yes , yes they do their chores but even that I have noticed more and more that when it is something that serves them, like making room for a new pool table, they jump right in. But filling the wood basket or drying the dishes, procrastination or avoidance till the Mother just does it. And tonight, one of the sons had the audacity to tell me that the “man comes before the woman it says so in the Bible!” Yeah my son but God comes before all! And above all we should love one another as God loves us! Anyone who knows me well knows my heart is huge, and although I am a curios person I am not judgemental, so I may not agree with something as it is against my beliefs, but I do NOT have the right to judge others and to cut someone down tears my up!
But,God always has a plan, and this one was revealed.
I entered the kitchen from the side door, I was nervous, scared, what should I walk into after the night before. God, I prayed, here I go! It was breakfast time, James was at the table eating, Samuel was standing and Paul had not arrived yet. Tracy was at the sink. Samuel walked my way as I approached my normal spot at the end of the table closest to the door. He is so tall and hovered over me, but his face was easy going and he looked at me and said ” Colleen, I want to apologize you for last night and how I behaved. I know I have a problem with those people.. ” I accepted his apology and thanked him for providing one. We all sat at the table and this lead us to have a beautiful conversation about the situation and to talk about scripture. I reminded Samuel that Jeasus would meet with sinners without judgement. And he followed with “lest we judge ourselves first” . Samuel and I can have great Godly conversations and I know his heart is good, he is just young, at 19, and still needs guidance. Paul writes that we should kindly point out to our Christian family when their path is going astray. This is God’s lesson for me, I struggle with how to do this effectively and without making a person resent me or think I’m being snootie. This was only my second time that God was directing me in a situation like this. I am not even sure if the person I guided the other time even knows. But they are on a wonderful path now, I continue to watch them grow in Christ and prayer and making healthy decisions. I know it’s not because of me, it’s all Gifs doing, but we have a wonderful relationship now, closer than ever and for that I am thankful.
So listen to Him, take a deep breath, pray and God opens the door so that you may guide your fellow Christians. His ideal plan for us is that we are a part of a whole and in order for the whole to function we have to have each part functioning and in good health, body, mind and spirit. I for one welcome direction, please!
It’s Been 18 years since Tracy has been on a holiday, I feel so happy that I can serve her at her farm so she can have one. This is a woman that her day begins at 6 a.m. And doesn’t stop till 10. Yup like most Moms, but on top of that, if you have ever done farm work, you know how physical it is. Also, on the farm it’s not easy, it seems that each task has an obstical, like when hay was out in the trailer next to the gate going I to the field you now have to cross a 10 foot across river of 7 inch deep mud to fill hay nets. Well, one thing I could do to help Tracy was after filling them I now walk them across the mud to the closer trailer so she can pick them up in the morning. Then there is watering the animals, no people there is not a faucet! It’s rain collected in barrels in different parts of the fields. So when the barrels closest to the horses run dry you walk to a goat field to get it. Cleaning out the goat stalls, can’t go through the big opening of the pen because that’s a separate field and to get to the muck truck to dispose of it your have to wheelbarrow through that river of mud, so instead you go through the small door and have to manipulate the wheelbarrow in tight spaces, this is especially daunting once you fill it and have to get it up and over a ledge to get back out the door! The chores are never ending. Laundry is on a timer so that it only dries or washes at night when energy cost are lower. The water tank at the new house is smaller meant for just James and Tracy, but now there is 5 of us using it. So showers happen every other day and you turn on the water get wet, then off to lather up and back on to rinse. I feel this is easier for men , woman need to cream rise their hair and forget about shaving! Now that part is just a sacrifice for now and crazily enough God has prepared me for So much. I remember my days on my farm, 5 years I had NO water. I heated with a wood burner and that’s also what heated bath water for me. Everyday I got up at dawn to care for my horses, chickens, goats, rabbits, dogs, so now…Now Tracy can have her very well deserved holiday away! And that right there warms my heart!
Since I wrote the above, the boys failed to meet their obligations and Tracy and james are no longer going on holiday. I also am at the end of my time with this family. I have grown close to Tracy and planted a seed that she needs to find support and care for herself, the Lord will guide her and I ask for your prayers that she follows through. I have noticed a change happening within the family for the positive, I’ll keep praying as well and will make sure to stay in contact with Tracy as I feel she needs the support, even if it’s to just tell her how special she is.
I have till the end of the month to find my next post, I have several things in works and now I just please ask for prayers to find the place soon, I know God will give me direction and open the doors, but I am human and get a bit anxious till I get things set up, I feel God loves keeping me on my toes and to be honest I rather appreciate that he reminds me often that He is with me always. Something most can probably relate to?
I love you all dearly and feel your support and prayers with me always.
God bless
Colleen Moore
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