Behind my Walls

I have struggled so hard to put into words my feelings and struggles with my son. God has showed me what I could not seem to figure out on my own.

I have struggled, cried, and worked hard to love and forgive myself.

My son told me I could not find someone to love me till I learned to love myself. I wrestled with that, I knew he was so right! But figuring out how to do that?

That can only be done once I had surrendered every part of me, accepted Christ’s love and shared all of me with God. To build trust, and intimacy with God through honestly sharing the deepest parts of me with him. Building our relationship.

I feel closer than ever to Him and I feel His love for me each day. I HAVE forgiven myself and ACCEPTED who I am , who I was and who I have become.

My struggle though, what tears my heart apart….is that I do not have my sons acceptance.

When he wrote to me he said :
“God is understanding he would have understood if you chose to be here with family also god can call you to do things as you say but he can not change free will.”

So you see….and what I am asking for in your prayers….is that God can work on my sons heart so that my son can accept that I have chosen God, that Was my free will choice, but that does not mean I love my son any less……but until then….God accepts me, Jesus accepts me and I accept me!

God bless and thank you!

Colleen Moore

Works Inspired in Faith